I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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