I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
either way he was missing a nipple.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize