Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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