Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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