Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
