apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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