you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
