i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
