when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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