you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
