This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
