I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
