The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize