just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
