he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
