I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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