The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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