that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
People in love make me want to vomit
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
