I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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