the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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