My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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