The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
