you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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