Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize