Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(830): View more from Texas

I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.

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(330): View more from Ohio

She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker

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(571): View more from Virginia

On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole

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(706): View more from Georgia

He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.

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