You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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