Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
