Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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