We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
