I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
