Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
