O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
