I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
