I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This is my gift to your gina
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
