Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
