Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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