I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
