i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
