I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
