Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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