I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
