i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Even my vagina gasped.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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