Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
