Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
