Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so let's talk penis.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
