did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
