the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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