He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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