ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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