I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
