I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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