O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
