just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
