You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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