I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
