Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
my poor anus
Drunk is a universal language darling
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