Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
