I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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