so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She's the barista slut.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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