i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize