Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
