I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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