spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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