Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
