Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
