You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
