love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
