I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
